This week’s focus is relinquishing control and finding freedom.
There is a quote that says “When you trust in the natural rhythm of life you will shift from a place of doing to a place of being.”
I, like many people, used to struggle with control.
I own my own two companies: I have a team of 24 at one and a team of 4 at the other. When I first started these businesses, my goal as the boss was to be in control. I felt that if I knew what everyone was doing and was telling people what to do, I was doing my job well.
Unfortunately, this approach created a lot of stress – especially when things didn’t go as planned. At the end of the day, this approach would leave me stressed, angry, and sometimes resentful as it left me feeling like I was spinning out of control.
After taking stock in my life, I realized I needed to learn how to relinquish control if I wanted to become more satisfied with with myself.
Through much introspection, I realized that my job as a boss was not to control every aspect of my businesses, but to hire people that I trust to help elevate me and my business to the next level. My job is not to control, but to empower.
Now you might not be in this exact situation, but the principle of this example is the same:
- Relinquishing control will bring about contentment
- By building people into your life that you trust will make it easier for you to relinquish control
So I started relinquishing control, and do you know what, I have never been more content.
A second aspect of relinquishing control is understanding that you are exactly where you need to be in this moment.
Understand, I am not saying to remain stagnant – if you are in a bad situation. If you need to push forward to a goal – do so.
While you are in this process though remind yourself that you are where you need to be right now. Take your current season in life for what it is. Look around and focus on what you can learn as you continue your positive momentum.
The final way to move past controlling behaviors is to be proactive in recognizing those behaviors. Much like with any actions, if we do them enough, muscle memory will begin to take over.
Maintaining control is no different. If we have been in the habit of controlling, our muscle memory will take over. This will perpetuate our need for control. A way to overcome this is to recognize our controlling behaviors. Once we recognize them, call them out, and train ourselves to do the opposite of what our impulses are.
Just like in any situation where we are retraining ourselves, this will take time and practice. It will be hard, but if you stick to this practice, you will be better off for it.
For more on this topic, check out our video below: